June 2025 - FIVE good things

and the emotional rollercoaster of downtime

I knew this month was coming. The downtime was planned, the downtime was needed, the downtime is an essential ingredient of how I want to work and sustain working without burning out again. I have a natural break in projects and I needed this time to re-group and figure out what to focus on in Year 2 of Read the Room Productions. Yet as a a fledging freelancer who isn’t used to this way of life yet, the guilt is lurking and the urge to panic is strong. After months of various deadlines, I wake up every morning feeling like I’ve forgotten to do something or ‘should be’ working as much as possible. It’s taken a lot of steel to quieten down my inner-critic and trust in the process. At the start of the month I wrote a list of all the potential projects I could pursue. I wasn’t clear which ones would grow in potential at that point but now, 29 days later, things are slowly starting to fall into place without me having to force anything. I’m so pleased I didn’t panic and have given myself this time to take the next steps slowly and with thought.

Do you panic or feel guilty when you slow down too?

Here are five good things, apart from Garden Rescue, that have helped me get through the waves of panic and guilt in downtime June:

1. My first baby courgettes!

It blows my mind that this whopper of a plant first germinated in May and I’m already picking courgettes in June. And look how pretty they are! Very Satisfying.

2. Cold water swimming

This Wild Wales swimming retreat at Ty Newydd was epic! It was the first time I’d ever swum in a lake and when I look back at these pictures I don’t remember the cold of the water at all (and it was pretty chilly!), I just remember the warmth and the joy of the women around me. And there was also cake, the most delicious homemade cake!

3. The magic of every other day

Apart from cleaning my teeth and drinking tea, I struggle to do the same thing ‘every day’ but I’m still constantly seduced by challenges to write a page a day or do a daily yoga practice or keep up my Duolingo streak. When I inevitably slip up I get so disheartened I give up entirely, but I noticed the running has stuck more easily than most things. I think that’s because when you’re training for a run, you’re not meant to run every day; you’re meant to run every other day and that is much easier for me to stick to. So, I’ve been trying to apply it to the things I would quite like to do every day, if I had the time. Every other day leaves much more room for manouvre and you can group things together. For example my ‘run and drum’ days now alternate with ‘write and stretch’ days. Also if you inevitably slip up it’s not as disheartening because you’re not meant to be doing it every day anyway.

4. Before and after photos

You know when you have zero motivation to clear a pile of papers or tidy up or do the weeding? Well I’ve been taking before and after photos and it really helps me! It takes seconds to do and I find it very satisfying to flick between the two once the task is complete…

5. Letting go of perfectionism

I have perfectionist tendencies, especially when it comes to my work. In some ways I think that can be very good because the quality is high but sometimes it can back me into a corner, so I’ve been deliberately trying to loosen up a bit! First thing to go against was my own self-imposed carefully curated Instagram grid which neatly alternated between black and white and colour (on brand of course!) images. It started off well but ended up tying me in knots when I wanted to start practice making reels. Initially I was going to change the cover photos of the reels but realised it would only be feeding my perfectionism, so I’ve ditched the scheme altogether and guess what? No-one has noticed, because no-one else cares! It’s actually very freeing!

I love to hear from you here in my lonely field, so please drop a like or leave a comment if you have read and enjoyed! I’m always up for chats with anyone but in particular other freelancers / the freelance curious.

BONUS!

Here’s a link to The Aberystwyth Book Club - Hay Festival special which we recorded on-stage in front of an audience in the BBC Marquee. We reviewed The House of Water by Fflur Dafydd and the whole day was an experience I won’t forget. I hope you enjoy listening as much as I enjoyed making it!